I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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