Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she peed on how many people?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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