dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did I show you my penis last night?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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