i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
