I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
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I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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