You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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