Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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