It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
