Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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