i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
