I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
