Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she looked like the before picture.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize