Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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