There was a lot of him and a little penis
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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