i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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