i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
