what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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