So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
