No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
