ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize