And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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