Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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