I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
