I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do herpes really smell.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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