you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
