After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
