That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize