I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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