the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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