It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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