ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
