Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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