Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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