I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Alive.
So much puke
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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