Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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