I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
