I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
