what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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