I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize