my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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