would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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