I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm like, not good at living.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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