just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
