I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
