You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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