if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
