your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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