After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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