I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
