He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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