oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
