Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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