she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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