He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
