SEEEEXXX PLEASE
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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