Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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