i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
