Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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