I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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