You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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