Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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(631): View more from New York

saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.

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(253): View more from Washington

My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"

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(541): View more from Oregon

does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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(214): View more from Texas

He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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(845): View more from New York

Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm

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(803): View more from South Carolina

oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?

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