Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
