I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize