my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
