it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
