We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
