Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
