I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
